Friday, November 5, 2010

P.S. I don’t want this anymore

We have been together for 4+ years now. When we first got together, you said you could never be what I wanted you to be and I should have listened. It was nice to have the companionship and the occasional intimacy but that was far and few between. You say you love me and I believe you do but it isn’t enough anymore.

  • I want someone who is an emotional equal.
  • I want someone is closer to me in age.
  • I want someone who finds me attractive and at least makes an effort to have sexual relations more then just once a month. I am a vibrant sexual being.
  • I want someone who can help with the bills (someone who has a job at least PT)
  • I want someone who does not berate me and call me stupid
  • I want someone who is not a drinker
  • I want someone who can manage their finances
  • I want someone who can take charge when I can’t
  • I want someone who can control their emotions better.

I don’t think any of my wants are extreme. My dilemma is how to figure out how to get out of the current relationship. We live together and he really has no where else to go but that should not be my problem. I have moved out of places where I wasn’t wanted.  I wish I knew what to do but all I know is that I don’t want this anymore.


  1. Sounds like you've taken the first step in confessing that. Good luck with a resolution.

  2. You should never be with someone who berates you, and no, your not asking for to much. Best of luck figuring out your next move.

  3. Whew. Heavy duty stuff right here. Not sure what to say, but I am thinking of you. Good luck in surmounting the necessary courage you need to make the right decision for yourself.

  4. I'm so sorry you're in a relationship that isn't what you need it or want it to be. None ofthe things you listed are any where close to too much to ask for and expect to receive. I wish for you strength as you move through this next phase of your life. My only advice would be to do it quick - like ripping off a bandaid. I'm sure it's going to suck no matter how it unfolds, but I'm of the opinion it's better to push through the bad stuff so there's more time to heal afterwards.

    Good luck and I'll be thinking of you.

  5. You deserve better. He may have nowhere else to go but he'll find someone to take him in. Or he'll suck it up and get a job so he can find a place of his own. You deserve all those things you listed. They're not extreme...they're all too normal. I say give him a deadline to get out and then make him get out. I know it's tough but you know what you want... Good luck!

  6. You sound so sad. You have the answer though because it isn't your problem how he will manage. I hope you get the strength soon to do what is in your heart. {{{HUGS}}}

  7. Sounds like a good ole, all his stuff outside the door and new lock time to me. But then, my bark is worse than my bite.

    Good luck. You deserve someone better.

  8. Faster is better, I"m sure he has family or friends who would let him crash for a couple of days. And if he doesn't, well... LIke you said - not your problem. His misfortune is the result of his own decisions in life and you can't really make that any better for him, only he can. No one should be abused mentally or emotionally and if he berates you and calls you stupid or any other names that's what that is. No bueno- get out while you still have the self-esteem to know you deserve better.

  9. I feel your pain. Tell him all of this and give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't fix the problem, then move on...

  10. I think you already know where your relationship is headed sooner or both deserve the chance to find the person who can make you happy. The longer you stay in the wrong relationship the longer it will be before either of you has a chance at happiness. I know taking action is harder than doing nothing, only you can decide when the time is right and I hope it's as painless as possible for you both. xx

  11. Kick him out or you leave. I don't know how, Sweetie, but do it asap! You are not asking too much, you cannot change him, you deserve much better! This is a life changing decision and a new chapter in your life. First plan "the end" and then celebrate from there!!!

  12. I bought a house with a man who I knew wasn't for me, but didn't think I could get better. He was my first boyfriend and we were together for 5 years. Then I met my 2nd boyfriend and realized that I could get better and that I deserved better. Breaking up was extremely difficult and painful for us both, but it was the right decision. Good luck to you.