He's the father of my daughters.
We were married for 7 years. We've been divorced for 8.
Last Friday he told me he's having surgery so we were making arrangements as to visitation times.
I dug a little deeper and he admitted that he has a growth the size of a golf ball on his colon.
He's having part of the colon removed.
He had a biopsy 2 weeks ago but he didn't have the results yet.
They are removing it regardless because of it's size.
I didn't know I'd have such a strong reaction to news like this from him.
It took my breath away.
He was mentally and physically abusive towards me.
I wished him dead on more than one occasion.
Now I know that he is the father of my daughters. They need him.
I need him to be there for them.
Obviously the girls know nothing of this and I have to act like everything is OK.
I don't know how he is coping.
He lives for the girls.
Last night I had a nightmare about him dying and I've been anxious all day.
I can't talk to anyone...my husband said " GOOD " when I told him.
My sister said..."TOO BAD"
It's ripping my heart out.
My daughters have no idea how quickly their whole world can change.
I still rely on my dad. I'm middle aged.
To lose your dad as a pre-teen?
I can't imagine.
Thanks for letting me get this off of my chest.