Wednesday, November 10, 2010

P.S. I Cried For My Ex-Husband

He's the father of my daughters.
We were married for 7 years. We've been divorced for 8.
Last Friday he told me he's having surgery so we were making arrangements as to visitation times.
I dug a little deeper and he admitted that he has a growth the size of a golf ball on his colon.
He's having part of the colon removed.
He had a biopsy 2 weeks ago but he didn't have the results yet.
They are removing it regardless because of it's size.
I didn't know I'd have such a strong reaction to news like this from him.
It took my breath away.
He was mentally and physically abusive towards me.
I wished him dead on more than one occasion.
Now I know that he is the father of my daughters. They need him.
I need him to be there for them.
Obviously the girls know nothing of this and I have to act like everything is OK.
I don't know how he is coping.
He lives for the girls.
Last night I had a nightmare about him dying and I've been anxious all day.
I can't talk to anyone...my husband said " GOOD " when I told him.
My sister said..."TOO BAD"
It's ripping my heart out.
My daughters have no idea how quickly their whole world can change.
I still rely on my dad. I'm middle aged.
To lose your dad as a pre-teen?
I can't imagine.

Thanks for letting me get this off of my chest.

6 comments:

  1. Hugs. No matter what your feelings are towards him, it's hard to reconcile them with your feelings towards your daughters, and not wanting them to be hurting.

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  2. Spending so many years with someone, your going to have permanent emotion. I'm so sorry he, as well as you and your daughters are going through this. Sending prayers.

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  3. You may not be husband and wife anymore...but you'll always be co-parents...and part of co-parenting is caring about that person simply because he is connected to your children. I wish him good luck and health....for the sake of your kids.

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  4. You have a connection to him, even tho you are divorced. You and him created those girls. Be there for them.

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  5. I agree with Draz! That's part of good co-parenting and CO-parenting is essential for the children involved. There is no fault in your feelings. I hope everything turns out well, I'll pray for him!

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  6. I personally don't think it's surprising. You are obviously a good person and someone you once loved is going through a hard time.

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