Real. Anonymous. Blog. Confessions.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
P.S. I Feel Invisible
I wish that my husband would notice me. I feel all sexy now, but has he noticed... NO! I have tried to get him to notice me, but still feel invisible. I can count on my hand the number of times that we have been intimate in the past 3 years. How I got pregnant during that time is still a mystery. I want to be made to feel special. I want to be wanted. Is that so much to ask after what I have gone through to get to where I am today. Want me... notice that I exist... please! I know I look good. Make me feel as good as I look.
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Been there, done that. I know he loves me, but we haven't had sex in a very long time. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I can say this because it's easier to say when you arent "in" the situation...you need and deserve to be wanted. I believe at the core of us, that is one of our most basic needs...
ReplyDeleteto be desired.
And I will tell you...if it is something that is important to you...something that is missing...then don't dismiss it.
Will he talk about it? What does he say if he does?
I hope he sees the beauty of you of you soon!
ReplyDeleteThat must hurt so much. Have you told him straight out how you feel? Tell him how you feel and exactly what you want from him.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is holding back out of fear that you'll leave him now that you are thinner. He may have no idea that you need this from him. Keep us posted!
I can completely relate to this. I think it's vital to feel wanted and desired. Like Amy W. said, a basic human need. I'm so sorry you he isn't noticing and wish I could give you a hug. If you haven't yet, please talk to him specifically about this. Write him an email if it's too hard to do face to face. Don't hesitate to email me if you'd like to discuss this further as I truly can relate and would be happy to talk about what I'm doing in my life.
ReplyDeleteHave you told him this? Sometimes men can seem uncaring when really they are just dense. My huband is a wonderful, loving man, but not so good with the compliments. I count on my girlfriends for those.
ReplyDeleteI have read several of these anon posts but this one really touched me because I know the feeling all too well. I'm so sorry that you're going through this; I hope so badly for you- where ever you are- that things work out for the best and that you find what you need.
ReplyDeleteHave your husband get a thorough physical from his primary care doctor to rule out any medical reasons for his lack of performance. Some men are embarrassed to admit to anyone, not even their wives, that something isn't right downstairs. If everything checks out okay, then you may need to involve a couples therapist to see if you can get to the bottom of the lack of intimacy.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the compliments, some men just don't give them. Ever. Or they may feel like if they say something now about how good we look, then we will take offense because that implies we didn't look good before. It's a no win situation for our men!
But if your main concern is about the lack of sex, then by all means get him to go to his doctor to rule out any medical issues. Perhaps he needs a little help with an Rx.